Guest Review 3 - Max Payne

Guest Review 2 - Shin Megami Tensei: Persona

Now, before I drive you onwards onto Persona's trial and execution, I'd just like to say a few words about the tragedy that is the gaming industry geared towards the PSP system. If we had to find an analogy to explain how this industry works, we could say that it's the tale of two lovers that, when together, live wondrous tales of passion and happiness, but during that time when they're apart, their entire purpose is to find different ways to backstab each other or new original ways of how to rape their loved one with a rake. You see, when Sony first released the Psp, they had a different set of ideas in motion to make huge loads of cash, but unfortunately for them, most of these were all foiled by the so called "homebrewing community" (a denomination adopted by 12 year old teen pirates to make them feel important), so, since then, Sony (together with every gaming company in the world, or so it seems) has been trying to find new ways to counter the console's huge piracy ratio, or in simpler words, to "buttfuck" you, the nice paying costumer, who doesn't give a shit about piracy and just wants to have fun with your games, in every way possible and still make a load of green with it.

When even 11 year olds have tutorials around the youtube to teach you how to crack your psp,
you know there's something very wrong with this console.

Guest Review - Ultima VII: The Black Gate

So, one of these last days, while cruising through the endless seas that are the internet, I came across (again) upon a discussion between fans of the western rpg community and the eastern or Japanese rpg fan community base, as to which one of these was the better type of rpg and why. While I may add that this debate was as civilized and rational as you'd expect it to be coming from a bunch of 13 year old basement dwellers, what really grinded my gears was that the western rpg fans had no knowledge whatsoever of good examples to complement their own opinions with. Well, to put it into simpler terms, fallout 3, oblivion and mass effect, while good games, ARE NOT "THE BEST RPGS EVER CREATED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME" AND YOU'RE AN IMBECILE IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE. Seriously, it pity's me to see that these newer generations will be marking these 3 games as the pinnacle of western rpgs, when there are so much more important tittles (and more entertaining too) to be found throughout these last decades. And to show you I'm not just shoving dust into your eyes, I'm going to prove it by reviewing this little gem right here, so just try and stop me! (Update: It came into my attention that you can close your web browser by clicking on the little cross on your right upper corner, so in a way, it's actually possible to stop me by ignoring me. Well, you win this round!)

Typical answers you'll be finding on the JRPG's side.
It saddens me to see how these people are allowed access to a PC and internet connection.

 

 

Guest Writer

Remember when I said in my introductory post that I used to write in a now defunct game reviewing page?

Well, you didn't. That's why I just said it. See, there was actually a pretty hefty team working on reviews when the page took its first steps and now most of them either quit or began other reviweing blogs like myself.

Except a lazy, lazy friend of mine who didn't had the initiative to start his own blog but still wants to show his opinions of certain gaming gems. So he asked me to post his stuff on my blog and since I'm a lazy prick myself, I gladly accepted with a smirk on my face. Meaning the next 3 updates on my blog will be game reviews from my good friend Scythe.

Word of advice: Don't take the reviews themselves very serious since his writing style can be...a little unorthodox.

Castlevania - Order of Ecclesia

Is it worth it to hit Dracula in the head while healing life threatening injuries with haute cuisine that came out the ground? Find out in this review.

Ah, good old Castlevania. Jumpin’, eatin’ and whippin’ never gets old. And since Konami went with the amazing effort of doing absolutely nothing for the game’s 25th anniversary, I’m gonna go ahead and write a review of my personal favorite Castlevania title. 

BUT FIRST.

A little history.

Bionic Commando

Will this blast from the past make as much of an impression today as it did 20 years ago? Read all the different ways I wrote “no, it didn’t” in this review

And here we are reviewing another Capcom game. I like Capcom, unlike the entire gaming community these days. Could like it better if they had their shit together and actually spent time to make sure that the games of popular franchises they make are a reliable product for the established fans. And Bionic Commando got shafted in that regard.

Unlike Devil May Cry, I don’t particularly like this game series that much but I reckon it deserves a little background information since it´s one of those cult classics that someone is always going to talk about.

The original Bionic Commando was one of the great games of the Nintendo era, mostly because the guys making the game were thinking outside the box. Simply put, Bionic Commando was a side scrolling 2D action platformer where you couldn´t jump.

And apparently that was awesome.

Devil May Cry 4

What do you get when you cross an effeminate lead character, cheesy rock music and giant monsters trying to kill the human race? A decent action game, apparently.

One game that’s making a pretty big stir in the video game community nowadays is the reboot of the Devil May Cry franchise, the infamous DmC. Now, while I’m not sure how good or bad the actual game will be since it’s pretty early to properly judge anything, I can safely say that the game doesn’t look as appealing or just plain good as the ludicrous, surreal stylish bonanza that the last 2 games were.

That said, while we wait for this sure to be financial train wreck to come out so we can finally give a proper opinion, why don’t I give my opinion about the last game of the series?